There is such buzz around the idea of self care. So what actually counts as self-care? Sometimes if it NOT what you think. How you practice self care often depends entirely on the stage of life you’re at.
For example, when you’re a new parent, it can be basic hygiene (I remember self care at that stage was a long warm shower and walking through grocery aisles REALLY slowly!) When time isn’t at such a premium, it can – and should – involve much more than that.
Here are some self-care recommendations that have worked for me at various stages of my own life. I’ve bundled them into three categories: basic, simple, and extreme.
· BASIC: If you’re a new parent, just lost a loved one, or in the middle of major construction, go BASIC! Have a bath (throw in a bath bomb if you are feeling crazy), invite a friend over to chat over a cup of tea, or get some fresh air and sunshine.
· SIMPLE: If you aren’t up against any major stressors but self-care is a new idea for you, go simple. Examples of simple self-care might include:
Moving for 10 minutes - which could include dancing to a Beyonce video or doing a yoga video on YouTube.
Finding opportunities to laugh during the day (cause those endorphins are awesome), and
Engaging your senses (smelling orange essential oils is my favourite way for a quick feel good pick me up).
· EXTREME: And if you’re already practicing self-care then the extreme suggestions are for you, my friend. This might include:
Spending at least 10 minutes a day in contemplation
Taking an online course on something you are passionate about, or
Saying NO to things that please everyone around you, but don’t serve you.
What’s interesting about self care is that initially it may not always feel good - especially when you start going extreme. Growth is not always comfortable.
Cheryl Richardson wrote a book exclusively about extreme care, in which she says: “the art of Extreme Self Care takes patience, commitment and practice. It initially requires a willingness to sit with some pretty uncomfortable feelings too, such as guilt – for putting your own needs first, fear – of being judged and critiqued by others, or anxiety – from challenging long-held beliefs and behaviours.”
As for where I am when it comes to self-care, I’m in a phase of life where my kids are becoming more self-sufficient by the day, I’ve found my groove with business ownership, and have been married 10 years.
So I’m working my way into the extreme self-care category. Here’s what I’m working on, in five key categories:
· Physical: I strength train three times a week and do cardio two times.
· Spiritual: I meditate for 10 minutes most days, as a way to keep some mental space. I also practice mindfulness throughout the day (even while working on clients!)
· Energy: I get one massage once a month and get adjusted once a week. I’ve found that if I let it go longer, I feel the build-up – like grime on the floors!
· Mental: I am curious and look up information on a topic new to me at least once a week – and often pass it along to others.
· Social: I add in wonderful, meaningful social gatherings (with my yoga mamas, with my mother/daughter group, on date nights with my husband, and through movie nights with my kids.
I am not perfect, but this is my plan at this particular point in time. Sometimes life gets in the way – babies might be coming or I may feel under the weather, or a leaky ceiling may derail my plansut I cut myself some slack, regroup quickly, and get back on-track. Because I feel better and I can give more when I do these things.
You may have heard the saying ‘you can’t draw from an empty well’ – and it’s 100% true. So if you haven’t spent time filling YOUR well lately, consider setting aside some time to put add some self care into your life. Work your way up slowly from your starting point, as life allows.
I can promise you, that setting aside some time for self-care will fill your well and the overflow will make you a better (and happier) mother, partner, and friend!!!